Ecuador stories part 1: the airport

Anxiously I prepared for my journey. Getting ready, I was so excited as well as nervous for my first ever trip overseas. We met as a group at the garage at 6:30 AM to get baggage ready, pray and say goodbye to family. My mom and sister would be  joining me, so I didn't have any tough goodbyes. Soon we loaded a bus and headed towards the airport. Poppy the gnome joined us, we started a new tradition where we take pictures of him with anyone who fell asleep. That, Along with our anticipation, kept us entertained for the ride. At the airport we ate breakfast and awaited our flight to Atlanta. It was about a two hour flight and I was in a middle seat between Mrs. Carolyn and a man I didn't know. Looking out the window is my favorite part of flying, as well as take off and landing. I love to fly, but being Rebekah's first flight she was very scared. She shed a few nervous tears at first, but by the second flight she warmed up and was dancing to music with her friends. We had a layover in the airport in Atlanta. We had lunch and played games of UNO and Mad Libs while waiting for our flight to Quito. I was super excited that there was a Panda Express in the airport, so that's where I chose for lunch. Her after a little layover we begin to board the plane but only a few were able to board before they closed the ramp to storming. After a slight delay we boarded for a five hour flight. I was in the middle again between Jacob Blackman and a girl who I later learned was from France. It was a very nice flight, we were supplied with a pillow and a blanket, we watched a movie and TV shows to pass the time, but eventually Hey got bored and tired I tryed to sleep, but being in the middle made it difficult because Jacob was a guy and I didn't want to lean on him or the stranger next to me. Eventually out of desperation I asked him if I can use his shoulder, he said it was okay but once I lay down I could sense we were both uncomfortable with it, so that didn't last very long. They fed us sandwiches for dinner on the plane, I was easily impressed. My very favorite part was our descent into Quito. it was dark outside and seeing the lights of the city was so gorgeous! I broke the rules a little and tried taking pictures out the window, but the movement made the lights blurry. the airport in Quito was intimidating.  it was overflowing with culture and diversity, everyone speaking different languages. the line through immigration was very long and it was hard because we were all tired and some were feeling sick. At one point we just heard a blood curling scream. we looked back and behind us a little boy's shoelace had got stuck in the escalator and had made him trip. it was sad and scary, but he was just fine. It had only scared him. Rebekah thought it would be funny to pop a balloon, the ones we used as markers for our bags..oh my! Everyone turned to look what had made that loud noise, and we were all like "oh dear! she's not with us.". After that it was quick and soon enough we met with Steve and rode the bus to the hotel where I shared a room with mom and Rebekah.  I crashed pretty quickly. 

Flow of meaningless words

Wow. I don't even think words can describe this feeling. I can't describe my feelings. My thoughts just run and conflict and I can't get them straight. Just stop. 

I'm worried 

I'm anxious about my future and my life. I don't know what I want to do and I am running out of time to decide. Where do I go to school? What do I study? What do I major in? I want to be a missionary. I want to teach kids about Jesus. I want to be a photographer. I would enjoy some sort of counseling job. I am behind on college placing tests and I'm not on level with other kids. I don't know what I'm going to do, I don't  have a job, I am NOT a successful AP student. 

I just can't breathe. I feel like thinking is sucking air out of my lungs. 

Then I remember that Christ says not to be anxious about anything but to pray and trust him. I feel guilty for still being overwhelmed with unknown feelings

If only he could help me make plans. 

I don't have plans for my schooling, my future, my life. I can't even make plans for my future dwelling because everything's up in the air. My future is just up in the air. And my living situation.. I can't be sure of anything. I just don't know. I have no plans I'm not sure of anything. I want to go do things and I can't, I'm stuck here. In America. After traveling to Ecuador. I hate it here. I feel like if I could just make a plan I'd be okay. 

Then I remember Peter. Peter had his own plans, he got upset with the guards and cut someone's ear off.  Jesus told Peter to put down his sword. In the same way, I'm supposed to put away my plans. Because God has a perfect plan, and he commands is to follow it. I feel ashamed that I am still having trouble dealing with it. 

I'm just struggling. I just am so confused. I wanna do something, accomplish something, be something, do something. I'm tired of just sitting, existing. I want to live. 

 I just wanna live, breathe, and share my Jesus. But I'm only 17 and I don't know where to begin.  I just don't know anything. 

*exhale* 

Hello out there!

Hey. It's late and I'm awake.

 I was just thinking about life and all it includes. Well all it has included for me. I don't know... You know, people could go around sulking and being upset all the time; mourning over their past. But I choose to learn from mine. I've learned the power of forgiveness, the cost of selfishness, and the affect of manipulation. But I don't wanna sit around and mope about it; I want to love, help, act. I wanna use my story to better the lives of others. I wanna start today. 

 

As a side note, I would like to know if you read my blog, check in occasionally, or follow via email. Please leave me a comment letting me know if you stop by. I wanna know if people actually read these awkward ramblings of mine. Thanks so much! 

I can't wait to upload some pictures. I have been working on photography a little, but I miss it. Be keeping an eye out for some posts soon with photos.  :)